Worn

Trodding this lonely road
Scuffed and worn boots
Raising puffs of dirt
Rocks rolling along
With forced perspective
Gaze downcast and low
Fat droplets of cold rain
Chilling as they run
Down the neck
Jacket collar upturned
To no avail

Unbidden Image

Fingers tracing the lines on your skin,
The colors vivid, alive, desirous
Moving and following each as if
Drawing them anew with my fingertips
Lips going behind, retracing that where
My fingers had just been, a burning trail
Want and need colliding with a force of
Cosmic proportions, exponential in nature
Never waning but growing, changing
One day, fulfilled

Most Wonderful Time Of The Year

But is it?....Every year I have the highest of hopes for Christmas. Romantic walks for shopping and viewing lights, bundled against the cold and coffee in hand,time spent with family and friends, the looks on peoples faces as they open gifts, opening up that perfect gift myself, all of it I can see in my mind. Yet the fact is, it never works out that way. Too hurried, too many bad attitudes, too much want want want that it is made hard to enjoy. I would like to not feel alone, to be with someone that cares, to enjoy the season for what it is and not what it has become. There has to be more. I could care less about gifts but opening up something that shows absolutely no thought was put into it is more depressing than no gifts at all. I'll smile, I'll hum carols softly, I'll buy gifts and I'll seem to enjoy it but deep down, it's just another month, week, day.

Unexpected

Palpable is the longing
Desire running rampant
Expecting that what's to come
Is diminishment, a lessening
But instead, the opposite
A growing

To You

Desolate silence soothes but
Your laughter makes all worthwhile
Ringing out with joyful noise
Bringing a smile forth, this rough visage
Hours ticking until I hear again
See your radiant smile flashing
Hear about your day, ups and downs,
Desires, dreams, all of your past hours
Instantly, magnificently better for
Being in your presence

Bluest Eyes

Piercing
Blue
Clear winter sky
Looking deep
Into me
Yearning created
Unfulfilled

Timing

Days have passed
Your voice unheard
Your visage unseen
Necessary to me
Like air and food
The longing grows
Waiting until
Happenstance works
To bring us together

Springing Eternal

All pretenses abandoned
Brave words eliminated
Only giving in remains
To the desire and need

Hope growing inside
Increasing in strength
Smile playing on my face
Thoughts of you endless

Days and nights colder
Sunlight fading fast
Bright my days remain
Thankful for you

Untitled

Crisp sun shining on
Turning autumn leaves
Windows of the car
Ever so slightly cracked
Cool air dancing in
Your tousled hair
Warm hand resting
My leg graced with
Your loving touch

For Now

Simply
Seeing your face
Brings joy
Quietly
Reading your words
Brings a smile
Knowingly
Thinking of you
Imparts happiness
Gladly
Being near
Is enough... For now.

Missing You

I see your name appear
Pixels forming the words
My heart skips a beat
I miss your face, animated
Laughing, sustaining me
Through the toughest of days
I miss your voice, boisterous
Exclamatory, telling me
A story that makes me laugh

Dreams

Closing my eyes, the night done
Hoping, wishing for dreams
Of us together, laughing, smiling
The memories to be made
Good and bad, all important
Our worries washed away
Merely by existing together

Growing

Moment by moment
The want grows
The need intensifies
Turning, changing
Becoming something
Never foreseen

Each Day, More

Laughing more frequent
Shared jokes, nicknames
Closeness growing into
Intimacy and a knowing
The familiarity of an
Old favorite t-shirt
With the passion of
The newly converted

Wanton

Wanton desire rampant
Raging storm inside me
Appetite voracious for
Imagined moments stolen
Possibilities never ending
Fueled by distance and
Dangerous thoughts

Wide Awake

Dreaming, wide awake
Verdant green fields
Fences of gray stone
Breeze from the ocean
Salty and warm as it
Rustles your auburn hair
Hand in hand we stroll
To the ruins of the fort
Stony construction rough
On my hands, climbing in
Leading you up and up
Narrow, winding ancient steps
Most vivid white capped blue
Bursting into view, then
Embrace, kiss, contentment

My Addiction

Like I'm walking the streets
Shoulders hunched, head down
Hood covering my shorn head
Looking, searching for my drug
But it's you, your words, your face
All that will ease the pain
Only what cures the jonesing
What calms the NEED coursing
Through my blood and brain
You've become my dealer
And my product, dangerous

Work in progress

   Out of the mist he strode, purposeful and steady. His face beleaguered and strained as the straps of his pack cut into his shoulders. A black and white dog trotted at his side, a friendly look about him as he moved, his ears bouncing and tongue lolling.The town was visible now. Orange sodium street lights breaking through the murk and fog. Sounds of waking up on the streets, a dog barking, early delivery trucks on the road. He wondered if there was work available here, were strangers welcome, all the things he'd thought about for these interminable four years on the road.

   Tying the young pup to a parking meter and setting out a small bowl of water, he entered the just opening coffee shop. The comfort of taking off the pack evident on his face immediately. As she poured the coffee, the waitress looked at him with amusement and curiosity. "Eggs," he said, "and bacon. Lots of bacon," was his order. Crossing his mind, not for the first time, could he find a place here, happiness, solace, a home.

    "Carol," she introduced herself as she brought his food. Refilling his coffee, she felt drawn to him. "CP," he grunted as he began to eat. The sleeve of his dark green shirt riding up revealing a Trinity tattoo on his forearm. "Can I get you anything else?" she asked. He paused for a moment, putting his fork down, "Is there any work in town?" "What can you do?" "Anything I need to," he said with some conviction. She knew he meant it and was even more curious now about this stranger and his dog.

      Bringing him some bacon wrapped up in a paper towel and a piece of paper, she tells him its for the dog and to see the man on the paper after 9. "You're expected," she says. Laying out money for his bill and tip, thanking her, he takes the bacon out to let the pup eat. As he pulls on his pack, she notices a Celtic cross tattoo on his other forearm. What she didn't notice was the slight bulge at his right hip, a well worn Springfield 1911 hiding there in a brown leather holster. Stepping back into the gloomy fog, he unties the dog and heads up the street disappearing.

      Walking, boots nearly noiseless in the early gloom, he searches for the address on the paper. Towns this small are easy, he thinks. Touching the gun at his hip almost imperceptibly, he is reminded of the day 5 years ago when he first used the gift from a friend in anger. It's bluing now worn bright and the rosewood grips becoming smooth, it will always carry the memories of that fall day.

      The dog catches a scent on the air causing him to growl, his hackles standing up. Being his companion for so long, the man knows to be wary. The dog is smart, friendly and playful but overall, protective and cautious. On more than one occasion he's alerted the man to danger, today may be no different. He slips his hand under his shirt and grips the .45 only to see the outline of a police officer through the mist. "Hello officer," he says to the cop as they close the distance between them. "Is it always this foggy around here?" Small town LEOs are always best treated friendly and cautiously. That's one of those hard earned bits of information he'll not soon forget.

       

Duality

Reconciling two lives
One led for those around me
One led for only you
The compartments of my mind
Used like office dividers
Separation of moments remembered
The feelings, the anguish
Of never bringing them together
On an on, a chasm dividing

Writers block sucks. That's not very well written I know but true nonetheless. I have something to say, to express, to write but the words won't come.

Chameleon

Her chameleon eyes
Taunt me
From every picture
Every thought
Drawing me in
Shifting color with her mood
Her smile
Distance unable to dull
The brightness and color
Amplified

For a sick friend

I hope you get well soon. Thinking about you.

Courage

What is courage? Is staying somewhere you no longer belong and are ignored because leaving would possibly destroy the thing you hold most dear, courageous? Is leaving to make a life for yourself whether it is the right thing or not, courageous? So much is sacrificed daily. I'd even lay my life down to protect others but that means nothing. At what point is it enough? At what point do you find the courage?

Time on My Hands

The pain comes in waves
As if a massive army is
Being sent man after man
By a callous general, uncaring.

Looking for a brief respite
Something, anything that might
Assuage the hurt and turn
The tide on this endless cycle.

The words, the only thing
Breaking the monotony.

Want

Waiting....
Interminable moments until
We collide in exquisite embrace
Senses tuned to each second
Anticipating the connection
Scents overwhelmingly intense
Desire spreading like cruel fire
From fingertips to tangling limbs
Growing, expanding, filling the void
All that's left, the want

B Comes In Handy

Battered
Bruised
Beleaguered
Bitter
Beaten

Beautiful

Beguiled
Bewitched
Becalmed
Beknownst
Better

My World

Unforeseen you appeared,
Consequences considered
Yet discarded at once
Like the pennies that
Weigh your pocket down

Needing the lightness
Brought to the world
By your being, your grace
Effervescent spirit infusing
Everything in your universe

Craving always more
An addict seeking out
That next fix to get right
Time and space mocking
Keeping us apart and wanting

Desire

Frenetic in my need
To touch you
Gently at first
Increasing in desire
More insistent
Discovering every inch
All those places
Rarely touched
Rarely kissed
Hidden depths of you

Impish Muse

Impish smile backed by impish thoughts,
Eyes twinkling with mirth and mischief
Playfully calling out with words alight
On the wind.

Calling to me with inimitable spirit
Begging, pleading, the desire evident
Teasingly pulling out the good in me
A lovely muse.

Needing the touch of my fingertips
Dancing on bare skin, the scent of her
Beguiling my senses and driving me
To the precipice.

Rhino

Confusion rampantly running
Destroying all in sight
Rhino charging through
Every last corner of what's left
Of my mind
Breath hot and heavy
As its footfalls pound
Need to slow it down
Stop it from ongoing
Destruction

The Un Poem

Unwanted
Unravelling
Unsure
Unfeeling
Unsatisfied
Unsupported
Unbeknownst

Tonight

Alone
Cold
Pained
Serious
Unsure
Anxious
Famished
Bedraggled

Sometimes the words are there but you can't get them out. Stuck, like a quarter glued to the counter to trick you. You want them to just fly out of you but they don't.

The people you meet that can affect your life are a constant amazement to me. Fall in and out of your sphere with both good and bad consequences. Regardless, they change you and make your life different.