The Search

I keep searching for that feeling

An explorer with his city of gold

The never ending conversation

The magnetic pull of you

The sitting in the same room

Just happy to be near 

The sexual chemistry lighting up

Every receptor in my brain

The joy of watching your brain work

And then hearing all about it

The electric feeling when our lips touch

The ease that you imbue into

My heart and soul and mind

I keep searching for it all to come back

Secret War

There's a secret war I'm fighting alone
No bullets expended or knives thrust
Nary an armored tank or jet plane involved
Some fought in the back alleys of my brain
Clandestine maneuvers and machinations
Only how I feel for you and miss you
The wounds are bittersweet
No bandage or quik clot has an effect
A medic would be useless and medicine
Ineffective as I struggle and hope to heal
I fight it within myself, I wage total war
With my own shattered heart and mind
Am I gaining ground? Has my plan survived
That inimitable first contact of battle?
I'll win as I know not another way but
At what cost victory against myself

The Party

Walking the room as the energy of the party buzzes

Electric, rhythmic, a large machine with a life of it's own

Noise reaching a cacophonous din and rising above it all

Party goers with sideways glances as I sidle past each

I speak and they hear me, useless words but they hear

Until a shift begins to occur, nearly visible in a shimmer

Waves of it rolling through every spot like a relentless surf

Then the others begin to lose my voice in their ears

At first, it sounds only softer but gradually descends 

Until it is but a garbled, worthless mess becoming nothing

Silence alone assaults their hearing as I am disappearing

Transparency onsets my corporeal form, fading away

No sound, no form. Only residing within myself

But to the world...gone