Honeysuckle

The heady fragranceof the honeysuckle hangs
Intoxicatingly in the foggy late morning air
Its yellow and orange blossoms islands of color
Against the verdant bank as it climbs up and up
The hillside soon to be covered and overtaken
Sun desperately attempting to burn through
The heavy moisture enclosing all around
Beauty everywhere, in all things, your smile
Taught me that, your soul indelibly imprinted

Innocuous and Mundane

Yesterday, by all outward appearances
Innocuous and mundane conversations
But the sun shining a little brighter
The sky painted a touch more blue
My smile beaming a bit wider and wider
Knowing I'm still a part, however small
Of your day, your week, your life complete
Seeing your smiles and frustrations come through
In the words you write, innocuous and mundane

Return

Hoping that soon, we can return
Not to what it had once been
Because I know that is not
The right thing for you but
Merely to what it became
A part of your day, your smile
Friends there for each other
Supporting, motivating, guiding
I may always hold a part of me
Hidden and hoping for us
But will never let that interfere
With what is needed of me
Never allow it to intrude
On being there for you, friend

Confused and a little worried but confident that everything will be okay. I'm guessing after that conversation a little space was indeed needed and that everything will be okay. I truly value the friendship that exists between us and have worked hard to separate other feelings so that it can continue. Ever respectful of what you are trying to do and here as a true friend.

Winding Down

As the day begins to wind inexorably down
Sun setting fire to the once bright blue sky
Thoughts begin to wander not aimlessly but
Towards you, towards your smile, lovely
Brightening up my day like few things do
Towards your spirit and positivity and soul
Inspiring all who know but transforming me
Towards your beauty, incomparable, stunning
Not only what can be seen but also what lies
Within you, what comes out with all you do

Moving ever closer, fading
Just another face in the crowd

A difficult day made easier
An easy day made joyous
Feelings I've never known
Colliding together into a
Strange melange of me
Of being, of seeing, of living

Blue

Blue
Was the color of the day
The color of the sky
Robins egg blue, pale
Clouds scudding by
The color of the river
Unstoppably flowing
To its distant destination
The color of your dress
Its simple lines perfect
Stunningly gracing you
And setting off the color
Of your smoldering eyes
Blue

Profound
Affected
Changed
Inspired
Onward
Creating
Believing
Loving
Smiling

Deep Fatigue

Deep fatigue felt into my bones
The kind that is good and wanted
Coming from pushing myself
Farther and faster than before
Clearing my head of those
Negative thoughts weighing
Me down and threatening
To overtake my head and heart
And focusing on the good things
In my life instead with every ounce
Of energy left to inside of me
Something I would not have done
Months ago but now with the influence
And inspiration of an amazing soul
I am able and capable and good

Resoundingly Clear

Captivated still by your voice
Resoundingly clear in my memory
As we talk endlessly of everything
But at the same time of nothing
Enchanting eyes still pulling me
Into their liquid blue depths
Never fully known or explored
Your laughter like my favorite song
Would put it on repeat to hear
Over and over again, lifting me
Changes necessary but not able
To extinguish the fire inside
But ever grateful to continue
As we can and need to be

The Forest

Needing to find quiet solitude

The perfect isolation of a forests

Verdant walls, its loud yet soft

Noises and cool running streams

Enveloping me completely, totally

Yet, it is also a place I want to 

Share, to show you and walk

With you once, reflecting and being

Inside my mind as we stroll slowly

No destination or plan at hand

Simply enjoying the company 

Of each other, friends who know

What our hearts contain

Capable Hands

Your hair is up, dark and wavy
As you sit cross legged on the floor
Fun necklace bright and vivid
As it graces your lovely neck
The smile affixed is one that
I may have never seen but
Would know in an instant
That of joy from playing and
Helping those that need it most
Those that must be protected
Taught and helped to become
The most amazing people
They can be and if they only
Could understand how lucky
To be in your capable hands

It can't be easy listening to me
What we've shared and what
We mean to each other yet
You do so, as a friend would
Continuing to offer your opinion
To tell me the truth and even
To help open my eyes at times
A strange sensation watching
Things in your life go as you want
My happiness for you magnified
But always that desire playing
In the back of my mind, lurking
To be closer to you and more
Always though I will be what
Is best for you and to continue
To grow our friendship

Amazing

When I saw your eyes this morning
A steely blue yet not cold
Sly smile on your face
Highlighting all your beauty
Inner as well, coming through
Reminding me of what an
Amazing soul you have
And how you don't even realize
But we all see and I
I will not stop reminding you
Of what makes you amazing

Daily

So much so quickly learned
From you, your influence
Daily, it is something new
About you or how you choose
To live each moment of life
Or something to help me
And others become better
To improve and grow into
What is possible in us all
Learning your many smiles
And looks and each laugh
More and more knowing
Why you inspire so many
And why you make me smile

La Muse

An artist is only as good
As their inspiration
The opportunity to try
And do justice to what
He sees and feels
As I feel the need
To create externally
And change internally
I'm thankful for you
My Muse, my inspiration

Becoming

Pushing the hunger back
To deep, deep within me
Like a lean wolf, searching
Focusing on whats at hand
To play my part as it
Is now written for me
To support and help
You in your life and
In your becoming
All that I know you can

My Smile

Through it all I've never lost this smile regained
Not the one I get when doing something I love
Not the one that comes when I'm with my daughter
Nor the one that crosses when the dog is being silly
Not the one that happens when I spy true beauty
Not the one flashing when something makes me laugh
Nor just as important the one you helped me find
That lights up my face for you and your beauty and spirit
That's the smile that I reserve for only you and its never left
Simply because you've never left, things may have changed
But we still remain a part of what's to come

Incandesence

Your incandescent spirit
Still brightens my day
Better even than our
Near to Earth star

Part of me does not want
To become used to this
This new way of things
I want to continue to feel
The yearning, the love
Maybe that is wrong
Maybe I should allow myself
To become numb but I won't
Our friendship means as much
To me as anything before
And I'll hold it safe and close
A rare gift to never lose

A New Day

A new day today
New choices made
Washing away the
Previous days events
Decision to let go
Of them and move on
Learned from one
And living it every day
Never before would have
Been possible but now
New attitude learned
From you, a better place
And all things can be

Intact

On the hard days it helps
To reflect on what has been
To replay the best memories
In my mind, the words said
The laughter shared, the smiles
But also the present that is
The friendship, new memories
To be made, help for each
So easily a different choice made
Yet the strength of the bond
We share, though changing
Adapting, is still intact

Anxiety

Anxious, frought filled morning
Scared of what was possible
The waiting nearly unbearable
But then all was well, okay
Your words of caring the only
Ones that were said, none other
Spoken to me or written
Not surprised, not hurt
Yours was the most important
But laying my fears bare
For her was a useless exercise
No matter, smiling through my day
Walk in the heat, dog happy
Child laughing, all worth each minute

Hidden

Footfalls heavy but quiet on worn stone
The soft rubber of my running shoes
Gripping where the rains had fallen
Scent of the newly blooming roses
Redolent in the humid spring air
Their perfume nearly overpowering
Searching amongst the rock and stone
And flowers and verdant growth
For a place of solitude, of quiet
Knowing it exists,  that it's near
But always just ever so slightly hidden

If You Stumble

If you stumble my hand is ready
If you fall my arms are there
If you hurt I'm there to comfort
If you cry the tissue is in hand
If you're scared I'll make you brave
If you're weak my strength is yours
If you're happy I'm smiling too
If you're complete I'm lacking nothing

Brave face, brave heart
To help you succeed
To triumph and be happy
To rejoice loudly with you
When all is well and good
I will struggle at times
But through good and bad
Will be what you need

Unlikely Finding

There are people and moments
That it doesn't matter what form
Your love for them takes but only
That it exists and was found at all

Pyrrhic Victories

Today it's four steps backward
After taking a small step forward
Seemingly never gaining any
Real ground but losing much
What few insignificant victories come
Are pyrrhic in nature, price too high
But I can't give up, your example
Front and center in my mind
Doing what must be done, persevering
A light heart I carry through each day
Finding smiles where I can, giving them
When it's possible, living each minute
To the fullest extent possible

Found myself the other night
Fixing something that was broken
Normal circumstances that would
Not in the least unusual, yet
This was something I didn't like
Didn't necessarily want repaired
Overwhelming metaphor

The One and The Many

Finding my way again after so long
Hoping its not too late to affect
This life for the good, for change
Some decisions may be difficult
Agonizingly painful at times
And some easy, like breathing
But I feel better than I have in years
Done on my own but inspired
Encouraged and helped by one
But also by others and stories shared
Trying hard each day forward
To pay back the one and help
The many

Content

Knowing now what can and can't be
Does not change my heart or my feelings
A smolder still lies deep within, a spark
Will remain tucked away waiting for a moment
That may never come and a chance
To reignite what once burned but until
Such time comes I shall be content
Having a true and gracious friend
One who knows me and my soul better
Than anyone before and may again
A friend whom I will be there for time again

Generosity

Realizing today and not for the first time
How generous you have been to me
With your love, your life, your heart
I pray I've not taken for granted and abused
This gift and repayed in kind when possible
Doing the right thing for you is now even
More imperative, to be what we can be
To each other and for each other

Thankful still our friendship remains
Intact and strong, basis of what we share
Hearts who found each other from across
Many miles and strange twists and turns
No way for either to know what the days
And even months may bring but I know
This is what we have and I'm thankful

Adventure

Watching your adventure unfold
These last few days has been
Incredible, a joy, and awesome
Playing my small part in it
Is something I'll never forget
Replaying in my mind those
Moments shared and enjoyed
Wanting to hear and see
Each detail since I've left
Share with you the moments
Yet to come on this great adventure

I truly understand all that you need to do and all that you need from me and I hope you see this. I'll also understand if you stop coming here to read though I think you'll find it will be okay. You lead and I will support and be your friend and confidant. I've said before what matters is that you remain a part of my life and nothing could be more true. I have no illusions that it will be easy for either one of us but together we can do anything. Thank you again for those few hours and memories I will cherish. We will meet again, of that I am confident. Until that time I will be there for you in whatever way possible. Will make you smile as often as I can. Will listen when you need a friend. Will be your sounding board for ideas. I remain yours.

Impacted

Altered
Impacted
Some things seen
Differently now
With fresh eyes
Glass of wine
Cool in hand
Moisture gathering
Flavors heightening
Memories of us
Breeze rustling
Your hair as you smile
A good day

Still smiling
A once in a lifetime experience
I'll work to repeat
Incredible soul
Known the more

Foundation

Finally real, solid, touched
Even more incredible
Than imagined, beautiful
But more importantly
Sincerity and caring
Pouring out with each word
Each slight touch, glance
Knowing what can be
And what can't, changes
Nothing, strengthens the bond
Support for each other and
Friendship built on a strong
Foundation with passion restrained

Unforgettable

All I've thought or felt
Confirmed in moments
Genuine and beautiful
Inside and out, caring
Graceful spirit generous
In what can be given
Thankful for the time
However brief, yet
Seemingly lasting
A lifetime, unforgettable

Journey

Soon embarking on a journey
Long and arduous but worth
Every minute and every mile
If only half the time I'll get
To spend even happens
My life will be enriched
Inspired, better, joyous

Promise

A new mindset is now needed
Necessary to continue to be
With you and have you in my life
Not always easy to separate
That side that can no longer be
But I will gladly, unquestioning
What's important is waking up
Knowing you still feel, still want
Me in your life and to be in mine
There is no doubt or worry
That I will always do what is right
For you, for your life. always
This is my promise to you

No pressure
Only be who you are
What you are
That person is enough
Not responsible for me
For my happiness or joy
But I cannot deny the fact
You bring those to my life
They exist without you
Heightened with you
Just continue to be
You

Against the Odds

There will always be doubts,
Fears, and imperfections but
Through it all we've found
Our way against the odds
Honesty and sharing have
Been the glue to hold together
We cannot know what
Tomorrow holds but I know
That I will always do my best
To help you through each day
And to make your life better
Never worse, and to enjoy
The moments we have

A Million Years, A Million Words

Cannot remember a time when

I was affected so positively 

By a single person, by someone

Just being themself and honest

Allowing me to be me and only me

Bringing out the best I have to offer

Yet not shying away from all of

My faults and many imperfections

Making every day we talk better

Tough days easier to bear, simply

By being, a part of my life complete

In a million years or a million words

I could not express the gratitude to you

Nor could explain the events bringing us

Together

Last Night

Lovely sleepy smile thats just for me
With drowsy hooded eyes above
No words even need spoken by either
Merely seeing, knowing, is enough
Anticipation of days to come
Making this moment even better
Reality slowly setting in of two.
Incredible memories to be made

Within

Spent too many years feeling devalued
Felling unwanted, letting someone else
Dictate my moods and self worth
But no longer is that true, over and done
You've helped me see what I could not
To understand there's a better way
To realize I am worth having and holding
To be myself regardless of fitting a mold
Creating again after a long absence
Becoming fitter, healthier, better
Inspiration from you yet the power
Coming from within and no longer
Dependent on anyone or anything
Our serendipitous coming together
The catalyst I needed to be me

Near Permanence

My smile rarely leaves me anymore
A near permanent fixture on this
Stubbled and worn face I own
The times it does I only need to
Do one very simple, easy thing
Picture you or remember a chat
Think of us and what we share
Instantly transforming this visage
Back into one with a wide smile

Pieces Found

Never knew that someone could feel
As you do about me, about us
Never knew that the missing pieces
Could be put into place, fit so well
Never that true beauty even existed
As lies within you, radiates from you
What we have will never be perfect
As our lives will never be either
But finding each other is more
Than I could ever have asked for

Bridges

Bridges always lead somewhere
Away from something
To something
Will this one lead me to...

Sky Above

Above, the sky is a perfect robins egg blue
Sparse white clouds go slowly scudding by
Like cotton balls blown by a mischievous child
On my back in the cool verdant grass gazing
As I idly play with your hair, fragrant and soft
Tunes from a radio play low, our favorite station
My well thumbed Yeats reader in my hand
But I'm not reading, preoccupied with this
This moment, watching your chest rise and fall
Steady breaths as you doze,  head on my chest
The breeze, the music, the sky, the grass
But in the end the moment is us, only us

Real

There are days it seems so real
As if I could reach out and touch
Fingertips grazing your cheek
The distance closed in milliseconds
Able to catch your scent imagined
Wafting in the light breeze
Teasing and lingering on my nose
Laughter playing to my ears
A realness uncommon

Nearly vibrating with the anticipation
Slight anxiousness mixed in
Overwhelming feelings rising
To a crescendo in mere days

Days End

First thing your lovely eyes see
As you walk through the door
A glass of red warming slightly
In my hand as I greet you
Not many words spoken but
Few are even necessary, I know
Direct you to that favorite chair
Hands begin to knead shoulders
Strength in them taking out
All the stress and bad of the day
Complex flavors and alcohol
Relaxing you as you sip
Soft lips gently kissing you
Exposed skin of your neck
This is how every day should end

Muddy Water

Watching the water flow steadily

Muddy brown and debris filled

Eddys swirling haphazardly

Seems ugly at first glance, dirty

But as in life beauty still resides

In even the worst of our days

Better each coming day at finding 

Those truly indomitable moments

Of good and light and happiness

That exist and help transform

It took inspiration to find

This amazing place in my life

A rare beauty of spirit and grace

It's the words you don't expect
That can affect you in ways
You would never have thought
Addicted
A simple and powerful thing
I want to be your addiction
As you are mine completely
Craving, yearning,  needing

That first time our eyes meet
Beyond compare or description
A moment to savor and behold
The smile on our faces, huge
Stupid grins that never leave
Memories to be made and kept
Longing even now to touch
Hold your hand, brush back
A stray auburn strand
No plans, only the moment

Minutiae

Amazed and awed even still
How I miss hearing about
Your day and how you are
The little details that most ignore
The things that got you down
The moments that lifted
All the minutiae of your hours
Distilled down into conversations
That leave me smiling

Times Such As These

In times such as these
When neither of our days
Go as planned and
We're unable to talk
I'm carried through
By memories and smiles
Songs that play and
Conversations remembered
I end the day letting go
Of the bad and focusing
On only the good
And thinking simply
Of you and your smile